Super Important Questions and Answers:

Q Have you ever had a "reversal of Fortune" after an eating contest?
A. Never after an official contest, but back in December 2007, I was in an eggnog drinking exhibition on the late, great 99x radio station here in Atlanta - of course, I defeated another intern (my specialty) BUT, 10 minutes later, as I was leaving the studio, I found out why drinking a 1/2 gallon of eggnog fast is not a great idea!!  Here's proof of the agony of victory: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSWk5tuMBXk

Q. How come you know all these famous people?
A. Some people are papparazzi, I am Paularazzi - Instead of hassling celebrities to get a photo of them, I hassle and annoy celebrities to get a photo with them.  What really scares me is when somebody actually asks me to take a picture with them - now that's just weird!

Q.  Who else would you like to meet, annoy, and get a photo with?
A.  No doubt, our new President-elect Barack Obama tops the list.  But, Sarah Palin would be a fun addition, too.  I'm still hoping for Heidi Klum, Peyton Manning (just to eat Oreo Cookies against him), Micheal Jackson, Tiger Woods, any Beatle, Mick Jagger, Ozzie Guillen, and The Girls Next Door, or their boss.    

Q. Tell us about your preparation for an eating contest..
A. First, I start begging my wife three months in advance to let me go.  This involves extra yard work, letting her control the remote control, and less farting in the house.  Then, I run, and run, and run some more, so I can visit the doctor, and have him tell my wife my cholesterol is only elevated, not high, and it's ok for me to stuff 12 minutes of fatty foods in my piehole.  Then, I make the food sacrifices - I eat chicken breasts, instead of my beloved chicken legs - I eat spinach, not french fries, stupid low-fat sherbet instead of wonderful chocolate ice cream, rice cakes instead of twinkies, lousy diet soda instead of full strength cola - ACK! 

    I also drink water constantly.  This helps me get exercise, because I make about 22 trips to the bathroom a day, adding up to almost a mile of extra running so I don't wet myself...again.  The night before a contest I beg some more, get yelled at for doing "this" again, and have to promise that I will do more yard work when I get home.  It's a glamourous life, but the ninth-place finishes make it all worthwhile....

Q. You spent over five and a half-years in college....what took you so long to graduate?
A.  Why leave Disneyworld until you have to?!?  College was occasional studying mixed with a ton of fun - I still regret that graduating part a little bit!  Also, I had to stick around that long doing "research" on my book "You Know You're A College Student When.."

Q. How did you graduate anyway? You seem to know nothing about most everything!!
A. I managed to figure out all kinds of ways to get my B.S. degree, and only a small part of it involved studying, the rest involved perfecting my b.s.!  Soon, I'm going to share my secrets of school success wih the world - so duck and cover, I'm heading to your town!! 

Q. Why did you start Competitive Eating?
A. It justified eating like a pig, and nothing taste better than wet meat in a bun - YOMP!

Q. Why the heck do you have so many nicknames?
A. Once a contest begins, I usually never get mentioned again (until they announce the 9th place winner), so I make sure it takes a long time to at least say my name

Q. Do you really have any super powers?
A. Yes, I can instantly annoy anyone, I work super-slow, have super-snoring, and am super handsome

Q. What does your family think of you participating in eating contests?
A. They are just glad I am out of the house for awhile, that super-bothering and super-snoring drives them nuts

Q. Describe your artworks, and other products.
A. I love the beach, and miss it,so the Tropicmon designs make me feel lke I'm still there, except in 2-D.  The eating art is delicious, nutritious, and good for your soul, and my wallet - so less talk, and more buy, amigo! The T-shirt designs and other products are all there to provide inspiration, warmth, fellowship, yarn, and additional ways for you to help the SPBBBMB Stop the Poverty Fund, which provides much-needed income for the entire Barlow family.  Buy them at www.zazzle/tropicmon NOW!!

Q. What are your future plans?
A.  Today, I'll be eating breakfast, followed by work avoidance and running, plus consumption of four water bottles, and seven trips to the bathroom.  Next, a light lunch, more water, more restroom relaxation, followed by a well-earned nap.  That, of course, will cause sleep-driven hunger pains, so I'll eat a heavy dinner, along with more water.  That will lead to more lavatory lounging.  Finally, several hours of bad television until I fall asleep on the couch while my wife tries to have significant conversation with me.

Q. If a fan or celebrity hands you money, would you keep it?
A. Please, please, always attempt this when you see me - the answer will thrill and amaze you - and the hearty handshake you will recieve back will make it all worth it - supermodels gets hugs!!